Musings Archive: December 2004

:: Sending Mail to Dwight ::
 
If you want to send a note to Dwight while he's trapped at the hospital, you can reach him at:

Dwight Ozard, Rhoads 7006
Hospital of the Univ. of Pennsylvania
3400 Spruce Street
Philadelphia, PA 19104

Dwight is currently on Day 8 post-transplant and while miserable, every bit of pain, moment of nausea, and other symptom is within the realm of what the doctors expect. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers for us during this time. We continue to be overwhelmed with the outpouring of support.

Let me reiterate Dwight's plea that, whenever you pray for us, please pray for those who are voiceless and powerless and hopeless.

Posted by Dwight Ozard   (12/11/2004 10:47:36 AM | link)

:: Carrying Charlie ::
 
I have a friend who used to work at Much Music Canada and who know now works at VH1 in New York City. This year for Thanksgving Bradford got to carry Charlie Brown in the Macy's parade.

I told him cool.

The problem is, however, I am now feeling like Charlie Brown, exctept that I'm full of fluid and not air. One big bulbous and gelatanaou mess.

Help me now!!!!

Posted by Dwight Ozard   (12/5/2004 8:32:04 AM | link)

:: One More Note ::
 
Here's the deal:

I just had a fight with my parents on the phone for no apparent reason
my body feels like it's tightening in on me as I fight the fluid gain I'm experiencing from the abnormal accumulation of proteins in my body,
I'm afraid of dying,
I haven't played golf since July 28,
I ache to be normal again--whatever the you know what that means--and go to bed at the same time that my wife does at least once a week
and then maybe just maybe just hold my wife and talk about my day
and Sheri just called to tell me that all of the food carts that we have grown accustomed to are not open on Saturdays
and yet I'm walking around the ward of this hospital crying like a baby because despite all of these things I am I am overcome.

I'm overcome because I am loved, because I have my parents, I have a rolodex FILLED with the names of the very best friends anyone could imagine.

I am overcome because as I walk and stretch and yearn I remember that I have stories yet untold.

I am overcome because I have Sheri.

I am overcome because I am loved.

And I have, not so oddly, Jesus.

And that's all I'll ever need.

I love you.

Posted by Dwight Ozard   (12/4/2004 1:16:12 PM | link)

:: Finally, we're on our way ::
 
Casey抯 at the Bat & here's the (qualified) good news.

Novemeber 2
*strike one.

November 16
*strike two, with a special guest appearance by Buster Keaton.

But November 30
*a hit!
Sometimes, you need to hit a single rather than a Home Run, just to remind you that you're actually part of the game, that I'm finally doing what I should be doing--getting my body well.

Honestly, after the past month, that was all we wanted: just the chance to fix me, and we抮e finally doing it. I told the doctor that if if I got sent home this time, I was stealing a truck and driving to Mexico for those world famous, anti-cancer enemas.

And so, we are finally past the last five weeks, over the keystone cops routine of the last attempt, where every little thing was a potential fever or pnuemonia, or the first attempt that was just a good old fashioned hockey game. (CAR!)

And so, on DAY FIVE of Advent, and DAY ONE of the TRANSPLANT, we now are counting various things and wonders, be they broad Kierkegaardian explosions of delightful anticitipation, or dreadful Kierkegaardian explosions of fear of what is to come on TRANSPLANT DAY 5-9, when my mouth, throat, teeth, tongue, etc. will all be full of sundry and various creatures that will be looking to make their home in their various nooks and crevices.

OK, let抯 just get to the basics. On Tuesday night I had my first and only dose of Malphalan chemotherapy to kick things off--this one a lower dose than what I received in 2001 because of the coming radiation. Following that: three days of total body radiation, which as of yesteresday I have done.

Now, what comes ain抰 easy, to be sure. The radiation makes me tired and nauseous, and the way they run the hospital only agitates me. I spend long hours pacing (but not exercising), wondering if this will do what it promises. Plus, my feet and legs are retaining alarming amounts of fluid, so the walking I need to do is a bit tougher than it should be.

The radiation process is managed in the mornings by a delightful but curmudgeonly guy named Paul who is in is early to late 40s, a recovering AA member, filled with that fantastic, sarcastic, and ultimately godly swagger that makes everyone feel at home as he prepares them for this extraordinary thing that they do to you梕ssentially applying near-fatal levels of radiation straight at the entirely of you.

Scary? You bet. And now that those radiation treatments are over, I can tell you that I slept through the second half of all of them, thus moving my hands from being folded in front of my chest to having my right arm flopped dowy out from underneath my left arm. Now, before the radiation, they went on and on about how critical it was that I didn't move. Afterwards, however, they didn't... blah blah blah...".

(Now, listen to me now, please! When I get some kind of other cancer in about 10 years--God willing I live that long--I want you to remember this, ok?)

Meanwhile, in real life, we go on, bathed in prayer. Please, please pray. And when you do, remember as well those who have no one to care for them. They are everywhere we go, and it breaks my heart.

Love, Dwight (& Sheri)

Posted by Dwight Ozard   (12/3/2004 11:13:12 PM | link)

Latest Musings

Musings Archive
November 2006 (1 musing)
November 2005 (1 musing)
October 2005 (3 musings)
September 2005 (4 musings)
August 2005 (6 musings)
July 2005 (1 musing)
June 2005 (4 musings)
May 2005 (1 musing)
April 2005 (6 musings)
March 2005 (9 musings)
February 2005 (4 musings)
January 2005 (4 musings)
December 2004 (4 musings)
November 2004 (13 musings)
October 2004 (6 musings)
September 2004 (6 musings)
August 2004 (4 musings)
July 2004 (5 musings)
June 2004 (4 musings)
May 2004 (3 musings)
April 2004 (2 musings)
March 2004 (5 musings)