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Cinema's Greatest Dialogue
printer friendly versionby Dwight Ozard

I was watching "Dinner for Five with Jon Favreau" on IFC the other night, and the panelists included the oft-disgusting yet endlessly fabulous, smart and surprisingly sentimental cult film director John Waters (whose dangerously--but misleadingly--named Pecker is one of my favorite films of all time).

As they spoke about their films, Waters mentioned that he'd been cast to act in Seed of Chucky the fifth of the Child's Play/Chucky films, and then in passing he mentioned that the last film in the very silly horror/slash/slasher Chucky series contained his favorite line in the history all of modern cinema.

I agree, completely.

I even wasted $3.50 or whatever ungodly rate Blockbuster now charges to rent the film and then fast-forwarded it to the scene in question so that Sheri could see it and understand, without having to endure the slasher bits.

(We have done this only one other time--when we rented Mike Myers' uneven but painfully funny So I Married an Axe Murderer, only to watch the scene where Myers' dad tells Myers' nephew to move his head, a scene that always makes me nearly pee.)

But even funnier, (a function, I'm sure, of the series' Mamet-like writing), is a scene from Bride of Chucky (of, if you wish, Child's Play IV), staring Brad Dourif as the voice of Chucky and the delectible Jennifer Tilley as Tiffany, the female lead killed by Chucky whose soul is now forced to live in a doll--also named Tiffany--that becomes both Chucky's nemisis-slash-love interest.

When it's finally time to consumate their relationship, Tiffany, being the ever-so-responsible new-Millenial "do-me feminist" type, asks Chucky about protection.

Chucky, not missing a beat, responds simply:

"Honey, I'm all rubber?

Go ahead. Write me with your own nominations. It will keep me amused a while in the hospital, and we'll post it here on the Lovers Quarrel features pages. End of article bullet


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