October 2, 2001: Bald Again, There's Really Been A Change In Me

Vol. 12.4

Bald Again, There's Really Been A Change In Me

(Sorry, Evie)

Hi friends: thanks for your thoughts and notes and prayers. I've been "aware" of them, in a close, very good way.

Good news and bad news. First, the transplant process has begun. My consultation yesterday confirmed two things: first, my need for a catheter, and second, that my counts were good enough to proceed. So this morning (since the out-patient O.R. was busy on Monday) I had the catheter inserted in my neck. They keep you awake throughout the procedure--surgery, really--so I was alternately intrigued and completely grossed out by the plugging and pushing in my neck. What they do is insert a wire, then a long tube into the vein in your neck all the way down to just above your heart--a process you can see on the ultrasound monitor above you. Like I said, very cool, very wierd.

Anyway, after the procedure, with catheter dangling from neck, I went up to the floor where they do the harvesting, and found out that my counts are, quote: "astounding" and they think they can get all of the stem cells they need in one round. So, I plopped down, and by 3pm I was done a very painLESS procedure, and they sent me home. I go in tomorrow and find out for sure--it takes about 15 hours for them to process what they got and decide if indeed they have what they need--and if they have I get the catheter removed and go home. If not, I do one more round of harvesting and they take it out Thursday morning. Then, I have a weekend of real food and moderate appetite before the big guns come out on Monday and they do their chemo/transplant.

The bad news is stupid and cosmetic--but not so bad the second time. My hair, which had grown back thicker and a tad more grey, started to fall out again yesterday, and today it was coming out in clumps, including my gotee. Nothing we didn't expect, but still, in the simplest terms, a bummer. So, when we got home this afternoon, I shaved the entire top of me, exposing my lip and chin for the first time Sheri. Yikes. A baby face with a dangling, frankenstein stud in my neck--genuinely terrifying. It all grows back, however, as I've seen, and, more so than the first time, it is a sign of the medicine, rather than the disease. Chemo is stupid and harmful but it heals.... and if baldness for the next month is the price... we can do it. And Sheri's joking is that Nick Lowe-cruel-to-be-kind kind of tough love. In short, I will survive. (Wow. Late 70's new wave and disco in less than 20 words.)

Anyway, all this to say, thanks and keep praying...

we love you Dwight

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